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Monday, 13 July 2009
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Interspecies civil war and a retarded rat
A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away....in a weird city called Bangalore, three of us were living a peaceful life in a rented house, until we discovered a group of rats intruded on our kitchen and were eating our foodstuff.
The moment we noticed the Rattus norvegicus (Scientific name of the brown rat) invasion, we bought a packet of rat killer poison from the nearest grocery store and placed them strategically in the kitchen. Although we were not interested in a bloody, violent war with those rats, but those bastards ate all the rat killer poisons, and was happily roaming in the kitchen, vexing our peace. One Saturday evening my roommate Avik could take it no longer, he grabbed a piece of wooden stick and rushed to the kitchen for a bloody revenge. My another roommate Pushan bravely joined him unarmed for the noble cause. And I couldn't loose my greed to capture the comic scene in my camera.
Oh! my sincere apologies for not mentioning about another lazy, coward soldier Jogu who also fought in our great interspecies civil war. Yes, he is the guy in front, in the above picture, trying to cheer up my two dismayed roommates. After a long furious battle, we were able to made most of the rats to flee from our kitchen without any casualty, but two of them couldn't make it (My roommates and joydeep will disagree with the facts given. But for god sake I am writing a fiction here). Those were the two greediest rats among them, they ate so much of our grocery that they couldn't escape through the hole they themselves made to invade our kitchen. One of them took shelter in the bathroom, and the other one just magically disappeared. None of us was ready to engage in a face to face combat with the rat hiding in the bathroom, so we locked it inside and let it starve to death. In the mean time our cook Sudarshan arrived and showed great interest in killing rats. He snatched the wooden stick from Avik and went charging in to the bathroom and locked the door from inside exactly the same way Amitabh bachchan did in the movie "Deewar". After five minutes of breath taking suspense he opened the door and came out with the bloody carcass of the rat. We all clapped and appreciated his bravery and also celebrated the victory with whiskey and beer.
Later that night before going to bed I asked Jogu "Dude We don't have any knowledge of what happened to the other rat which disappeared suddenly. Did it escaped from the kitchen? Or it is still there in the kitchen and planning for a revenge". He calmly consoled me "Chill out man! It shitted in its pant, lost weight and fled through the hole". That night I couldn't sleep properly, every time I heard the slightest noise I thought about the rat. In the morning when I finally fell asleep, I had the scariest dream of my life. I saw that rat came back for a revenge and this time it's a giant rat, almost size of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. I am trying to run away but my legs are stuck somehow and the giant rat speedily getting closer to me. Suddenly I woke up to a monstrous laughter. I went to the hall and I saw Avik was rolling on the floor laughing. He was not in a position to utter a single word so he just pointed his finger towards something unexpectedly hilarious. As usual I didn't forget to capture it in my camera.
The retard tried to escape from the hole and somehow managed to put his head inside and then got stuck. Neither he could come out nor he could go inside! I don't know why but I felt bad for the rat. I tried to help the rat to get itself out of the awkward situation. I tried to push it in and also tried to pull it out but all my attempts failed. The rat was stuck in the hole for three days. After three days of starvation it became enough skinny to go through the hole. Once I read in the newspaper that a recent study found rats to possess metacognition and it's really true! They learned their lessons and from that day onwards we never saw a single rat in our house.
